Fishing!

We are back home in Ohio and were SOOOOOO excited to see our boys. We wanted to have some good time together today, so we took them fishing. Of course, there is no way any fish will bite when we're throwing things in the water, tangling lines, being loud, etc. It's not about the fish, though--right? We had a great time being together. Nothing makes us happier than to see Benjamin and Hunter being together. They spent forever collecting green things on the ground that had fallen from the trees (they're called monkey brains?) and throwing them into the water. They really had fun together and we're grateful beyond belief for these precious boys.

Because I feel like it's important to be honest when we're hurting--it gives permission to other people to be honest when they hurt--I'll tell you how I really feel about what has transpired with baby Preston. Right now I hate infertility--that my husband hurts and that my four year old ran out to our van looking for a baby that wasn't there. This is something I haven't felt before, and I can honestly say that. I know it's important to feel that right now, though, because it's giving me empathy. As far as adoption goes, I hate knowing that my becoming a mother means hurt for someone else. That I can quickly counter, though, because I know that Heavenly Father will bless a woman that makes that excruciating choice to place for adoption in infinite and eternal ways--and with peace. What else am I feeling? Intense gratitude for my two boys. There is not the tiniest bit of doubt that these precious spirits were meant to come to our home--they just needed to come through a little different route. : ) And that makes ALL of this worth it. I wouldn't change anything.
I recognize that these are focused on my little family, and the real issue at hand is that precious baby Preston. I can't say much more than this: I know that Heavenly Fathers loves him and loves Marisol. He will pour out every blessing that he can upon them. That is how our Heavenly Father is.